10 Things I Hate About Your Book
- It doesn’t make me happy, sad, amused, angry, scared, surprised, relaxed, anxious, hopeful, amorous, enchanted or excited. But not necessarily all at the same time, although I’d like to see you try!
- It doesn’t explore the five senses. I want to see, hear, smell, taste and touch the narrative!
- I’m too distracted by your interesting choice of font to get into the story. We like fonts like Cambria, Times New Roman and Garamond.
- There are no key themes or messages that stay with me after I turn the final page.
- There either aren’t enough descriptions of the setting to take me there, or there are too many long descriptions that detract from the pace. It’s a fine balance! Setting should be scattered like a trail of crumbs for the reader to follow.
- The writing is so dense, wordy and lacking in paragraphs I get sweaty just looking at it. I love a good thesaurus result, but naught surpasses a comprehensible, not burdensome tome, i.e. a clean, easy read.
- All the characters’ names start with the same letter. E.g. Jake told Jared and Jason that James killed Jackson. Three pages in and I’ve already forgotten who the murderer is.
- There’s no reason to keep reading, no anticipation about what’s to come.
- There are too many clichés. Find a way to describe ordinary things, people, emotions and situations in unique and unusual ways.
- I can’t get any work done because all I want to do is read. Jks, I actually love it when that happens!